Every Conversation Counts by Riaz Meghji

Author:Riaz Meghji [Meghji, Riaz]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Riaz Meghji
Published: 2021-02-09T00:00:00+00:00

How to have difficult conversations

I interviewed the great Salman Rushdie after the publication of his novel The Golden House. Rushdie has found himself in the center of difficult cultural conversations ever since Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran issued a fatwa, or religious decree, calling for Muslims to kill Rushdie because his novel The Satanic Verses was, according to Khomeini, blasphemous.38

I asked Rushdie how we get people to productively disagree in a polarized time. “Well,” he said, “we used to be able to do it.” He argued that we just need to rediscover the ability to disagree without piling on and shaming people or shouting them down for saying something we dislike. “We’ve all got to grow up a little bit,” he said.

It does take some emotional maturity to disagree productively. In their book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, authors Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler define crucial conversations as ones where there are opposing opinions, strong emotions, and high stakes. They share a few examples, including asking a roommate to move out, confronting a loved one about substance abuse, delivering negative feedback at work, or talking to a colleague who’s made offensive comments.

In every one of those situations, and many more high-stakes, emotionally tricky conversations, getting to a successful outcome without damaging the relationship beyond repair takes courage, emotional intelligence, and empathy. But the good news is you don’t have to be the Dalai Lama to succeed in these kinds of situations. With a little practice confronting difficult issues, you can learn to handle these crucial conversations more successfully.

Here are my five best tips for navigating difficult conversations.

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